Saturday, February 06, 2010

Does Father Christmas Hate Gardeners?


I'm starting to think so. If you've been around here a while, you'll know that two Christmases ago, the top item on my letter to Santa (and I sent it really early, honest) was a kitchen composter.

I was really excited. Milan is generally good for recycling - plastic, glass, paper etc all has to be separated - but they don't collect food waste for composting. And every night as I'm peeling veg for dinner, I'm there thinking Oh what a shame - if only I could have a compost heap on the balcony...

So when I found the kitchen composter, I thought I'd solved the problem. All my vegetable peelings could go in, and I'd save a fortune on fertiliser. And it would be organic.

The website promised no smell, no flies and quick decomposition - spurred on by the adition of a bokashi mix - a bran based culture containing bacteria, yeasts etc which spur on the decomposition. The answer to a balcony gardener's dream.

So off went my letter to Father Christmas. And I waited with anticipation. Christmas morning came. My presents were lovely. But no kitchen composter. I was so disappointed ...

So I asked Father Christmas' local representative what had happened to the composter. He looked puzzled. "You really wanted a rubbish bin for Christmas?"

Yes, I really wanted a rubbish bin for Christmas. Oh well. A year passed. This time I printed off the website page and attached it to my Christmas letter. With a note saying that I loved all the handbags, and jewellery, and perfume I'd got last year, but honestly, I really, really, really wanted this particular bin for the kitchen rubbish.

Christmas morning came. There was nothing under the Christmas tree that looked remotely the size of a kitchen composter. But when we came to open everything, I found a small envelope waiting for me. And there it was, in the shape of an order form. It would be arriving shortly.

Wheee ... day after day I asked our caretaker if anything had arrived. Nothing. I waited - the Italian post isn't renowned for speed so I didn't panic. There were other internet ordered presents that hadn't yet arrived either. But January wore on, and in the end I cracked and sent an e-mail to the company.

Oh.. they replied Didn't you get our message? we cancelled the order. We don't deliver outside the UK ...

At that point, I knew it was true. Father Christmas hates gardeners. Or at least kitchen composters. It's all right for him - he's got all that reindeer dung to work with ...

But you can't keep a good composter down, so back I get on the net. If Father Christmas won't do it, then I'll buy one myself. There must be a company somewhere who will deliver to me ... And yes, I found one. In fact the company where I'd originally found the composter ,
Just Green We welcome orders from outside the UK. Wheeee again.

So I think I'll finally get my kitchen composter. No more having to throw away the potato peelings. Lots of lovely liquid fertiliser for the plants. And my own supply of fresh compost. Watch this space ...




14 comments:

Edith Hope said...

Dear Sue, Oh dear, such disappointment but the jewellery and perfume did sound wonderful!

However, I am really glad that 'All's Well That Ends Well' and that your kitchen waste will soon be being put to very good use. There really is something magical [shades of Father C] when the detritus of the kitchen turns into something really precious. I most definitely advocate composting everything if possible, even the contents of the Hoover bag.

The Running Garlic said...

That's the spirit ... never give up, especially when it comes to wanting a kitchen composter! I have a worm bin and love those worm castings I am rewarded with!

Now that's a good idea Edith - composting the contents of the Hoover bag ... will do!

Beth said...

Hi Sue,
This reminds me of the year I asked for a pitchfork for my birthday, they all thought I had lost my mind I think!

Have you considered vermicomposting? This site is by California State, but there are lots of helpful links.

Funny post, Thanks!
All my best
Beth

Carrie said...

Oh such ups and downs! I hope you finally get your kitchen composter, we had a little tin bin that sat outside with a bag in it to make it easy to take the contents to the lottie. The council here has just introduced the addition of uncooked or cooked! food stuffs into our brown garden waste bins - wow. We still take lots to the lottie in our bag though. I think I may stop believing in Santa - he just sounds lazy and a bit nasty.....

Pam's English Garden said...

Hi, Sue. You may have been disappointed, but you cheered ME up no end! Your post is so.o.o funny, I'm grinning from ear to ear. Thanks for making my day. xx

janie said...

I do kitchen composting with my little red wriggler worms. No smell, no mess, and they make compost at break-neck speed! I keep them under the work table in my stained glass studio, as they would die outside in our summers. Nobody but me knows they are there....

I hope you do get your composter. Two years is a long time to wait!

Natalie said...

Hope all ends well with your composter. It is quite amazing how much compostable waste on little kitchen can produce. I started composting a couple of years ago and the used the first batch about a year after that - one tip - avoid egg shells as they don't rot downs effectively (or so I found)I have also ben told that they attract rats but I suspect that might not be such an issue on balony's?

Jess said...

Sue - I have one of these which is a way station for my little rotating one out by the trash bins... its great. :) And mine at least, doesn't smell, and has charcoal filters.

Thanks for stopping by my blog. I hope to see you again!

Jan (Thanks For Today) said...

sue, you brought a smile to my face, despite the frustrations you've experienced. You might like to participate in the garden bloggers sustainable lifestyle project i currently have on my blog...it is right up your alley:-) jan

Wendy said...

If it can help you, in order to get this particular composting unit "working", you need a special product -> a specific mix of bacteria that you need to buy from them!! Otherwise your compost will start smelling... I know someone who bought it and was very disappointed by this...

Dirty Girl Gardening said...

I love little kitchen bins... but I will warn you, then do smell from time to time if you don't bring them out every other day. To be expected.

Lou Murray's Green World said...

Congratulations on persevering in your quest to own a composter. I hope it arrives soon and is all that is promised. I thought of you yesterday as I planted green onion seeds and gingerroot in planters. Because of the limited sun in my small yard, I do some container gardening as well.

Cynthia B. Hawthorne said...

What is important is that you may now have your own supply of fresh compost. But I just can relate to that feeling...being so excited about something that will only screw up. It surely is more than disappointing!
Please let us know if the no smell and no fly’s part are really true.

Msrobin said...

Let me know how this works Sue! I bought an outdoor compost tumbler over the winter, but with so much snow I haven't even opened the box. So I want to get a small kitchen version to hold kitchen waste during the winter when I won't be able to get to the tumbler. Leary of the smell though!

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